Lent and the Art of Self Mastery

It is that time of year - let's be honest - that dreaded time of year.  Lent.  What to give up? What to give away? What to make for dinner on Friday?

 

       or this





I know I should look forward to Lent as a time of cleansing, a time of getting rid of bad habits or excess baggage.  But why does it seem that when something is forbidden it is so much more enticing? Human Nature I suppose.

Last year I gave up spending any money on myself except for absolute essentials - I did pretty good at it too and realized how much frivolous spending I engage in.  Well, this year I am trying to reign in some bad habits I've formed over the last few months.  Namely - snacking all the time.  ALL THE TIME!  Thus, the 7 month pregnancy weight,  Yuck!  So, I have eliminated snacking.  My boys laughed at me saying "shouldn't it be a sacrifice mom?"  If they only knew!  I spent the first 5 days of Lent just getting myself used to not snacking.  What an exercise in self-mastery!

But it's not enough.  I need to use this sacrifice for something beyond myself.  Starting now, every time I reject snacking I will offer up a prayer for someone else.  How about someone that really bugs the bejeezers out of me?

What do you give up for Lent?  or do you give anything up?  Is it a time of reflection for you or do you think Lent should be a year round call to look inward and reflect the change outwardly?

A Lot of Food, A Lot of Play, Not a Lot of Sleep

This is the birthday boy -- 6 nine-year-old boys, an ice skating adventure, football, basketball, nerf war, movies, pizza, and a sleepover.  I am now officially worn out! I think I definitely had more mental energy when I was younger, but now I have much more patience to deal with a bunch of boys.

Taking a break from falling, uh skating I mean....      

The birthday cookie - actually quite tasty!







And it only took less than an hour to clean up.  Wow - such amazing energy! haha.  Now only 2 weeks until the next one.  Only 2 weeks until the next one...2 weeks......agh.

A Little Coffee .... A Lot of Good!

It's Time for Coffee Chat!

First let me start off by saying I am not a scientist.  Not even close. My idea of a science project is to see which gum's flavor lasts longer.  So, this is NOT a scientific study.  But, that having been said, I would like to offer the following 5 reasons why drinking coffee in the morning can be so beneficial:

1.  It is a community builder.  Coffee brings us together. "Let's go grab a cup of coffee" or "Let's meet for coffee" have become commonplace in our conversations.  Even if you don't drink coffee you say it.  You know you do.  We love to get together and relax and catch up with friends.  In person! Who needs social media when you have coffee?

2.  It involves all 5 senses.  Sight - the rich black-brown color of dark roast or the creamy light brown of a latte.  Smell - oh, the aroma.  Need I say more?  Taste - bitter, smooth, nutty, creamy, mild, strong...the combinations are endless.  Touch - Some like it Hot!!! Hearing - the whir of the frothing machine at Starbucks just makes the mouth water!

3.  It keeps us from getting fired.  Honestly, you know that some days it's the only reason we get out of bed in the morning.  Not to mention the stimulating effects of coffee can be very handy those first few hours on the job.

4.  It Makes us feel like grown-ups.  Yes, even at midlife (or beyond) you know that when you drink that coffee in the morning you know you are participating in a truly adult ritual. A good, clean, healthy ritual.  The kids get milk.  We get coffee.  (with milk)

5.  It allows us just a bit of snobbery.  Tall, skinny, half-caff, vanilla latte please.  Oh, with just a touch of foam.

A New Name and New Goal

I finally changed the name of my blog to reflect more accurately what I write about.  Yep, it seems to be all about me - thus the old name -Rhonda's Ramblins'.  I do ramble a little, well, ok - a lot.  But I do feel I am in the beginning of what could be the best years of my life.  If I turn them into that!

So, let's do it together - make those necessary changes like a little less food, a little more exercise, a bit more reading, a lot less stress, more time spent with true friends, trying new things, ditching bad habits,....the list goes on and on.

Let's start with my last post - about the "how in the .... did I get that heavy?".  I did move some this weekend - walks and a smallish amount of body weight exercises.  I ate smaller portions - and even posted my Mindful Eating poster in the kitchen.  Whoohoo!!  Small victories!

I talked to a dear friend this weekend and she gave me some excellent advice.  She thinks it came originally from Dear Abby and this wouldn't surprise me at all.  Here it is - Only make daily goals. Let's take for instance ... walking.  The goal for today is to walk 15 minutes.  That's it.  Work on today's goal only.  Walk 15 minutes.  Then at the end of my day I will have reached my goal.  (Providing I walked!).  Or say it's diet - The goal for today will be to NOT eat past full.  Just for today.  Then at the end of the day when I did not eat past full I have reached my goal. (Providing I don't eat past full!)

I think you get the point.  So, what is your goal for today!  Can't you just already feel the pat on the back you will give yourself tonight???

Mid Life Makeover!!!!

Ok - I finally did it - I stepped on the scale this morning.  Oh man - when did I get 7 months pregnant again????  That's what I am weighing now - I will NOT reveal the number.  Suffice it to say I am mortified!  I knew the pants were getting snugger and that my waist is getting, well, out of control, but really - who knew it was that much?  I guess the camera does.

It is time for the mid-life makeover of my life.  I have recently stumbled upon the Over 50 feeling 40 blog.  (http://www.over50feeling40.com/) I must say, at first I was not impressed - it seemed too simple and well, I don't really want to feel 40 again, I want to feel 50 but a really good healthy 50.  But I subscribed and have been reading daily.  I am really beginning to like the short writings of Pam - actually some are not so short I am finding out.  This gal is really inspiring me!  I may actually try to take this blog to another level now!

So - today the email came - I MATTER - I read through it and guess what?  Pam remade herself in her fifties!!!  It can be done and I'm going to do it.  Starting now, starting today.  No more self abusing talk, no more not caring about what I eat, no more excuses!!!!!

I'm off to walk for 10-15 minutes!  Hey - it's a start!!

--Rhonda

How oh How to get motivated??

I have hit the big Five-O.   Well, I hit that almost 2 years ago.  I am now the big Five-1 and about to hit the big Five-2.  Just exactly when did this happen?  Tell me please!!!  And to make matters worse, I have all the symptoms that I've heard go along with mid-life.  Most notably the ever widening of my middle section.  Great, just great.  Also, the wrinkles, occasional gray hair, sore knees, shoulders that don't go as straight as I'd like..... the list goes on.  Probably worst of all though, is the lack of motivation to do anything about it.  Really, how hard would it be to take a 20 minute walk,or a 10 minute Denise Austin video?  I think someone needs to explore the topic of midlife un-motivation.  (I don't think that's a word)  Ideas for the article -- Why it's so hard to get out and get motivated or 3 simple steps to get off your butt.

On another brave note - I did get the haircut I've been mulling over for 4 months now - it's super short and no one even noticed - or else they did and thought it so atrocious as to NOT say anything! It will grow, but in the meantime I do plan to embrace it!  I do plan to embrace it, I do plan to embrace it...

Why I'm Not a Facebook Fan

My girlfriends religiously post on FB. Pictures, status updates, thoughts on politics, religion, restaurants, bands, movies…the list goes on.  And they post all times of the day and night.  I know at any given moment in time what Josie in Texas had for breakfast, what movie Trina in California saw last night, how Shawna in Colorado is about the jump over the cliff if school doesn’t start, like tomorrow.  While some may think this is a great and easy way to keep up with friends, I think of it as more of a way to avoid actual communication and talking, I mean really talking one-on-one, with those that we know. 

Facebook only paints the picture we want painted.  It may or may not be real but it is what we want others to think of us.  How many “friends” do you know that have what seems to be a near perfect life?  Their dear husband always does and says such cute things, their kids are adorable and such a delight to be around, even the most mundane snack – crackers and hot chocolate – can be turned into a gastronomical delight – in Facebook language.  It’s not real folks! 

For some reason it seems being braggadocios is the new norm.  In the old days we called this conceited.  As we get older we can call this narcissistic.  Meaning – it’s all about me!  Now, we know these last few years have been turbulent both socially and financially.  Social networking allows people to live the life they wished they were living.  Somehow make it look better than it really is.  While a little bit of living grand can be fun and actually mood boosting, too much of it creates a false sense of reality.  It becomes harder to live in the “real world” where life can actually be hard sometimes.  The husband is not always nice and the kids sometimes make bad grades and lose soccer games – because they really did play poorly.  Sometimes beans are just that – beans.  Not a filet mignon in disguise.  Just beans.

My solution to this?  Get the phone out and try calling a friend.  Talk to them out loud – where they can hear you.  Better yet, meet for coffee or go to the park or meet at each other’s house for an hour.  Simply reconnect with people and let them get to know the real you.  Get to know the real them.  You may be surprised at how much you like the “real” person and even more surprised to find out that they may actually like you, even the “real” you.