I've been gone for over a year from this blog. Bogged down in the everyday hecticness of life. That and a bit of laziness. I seem to have a lot of trouble with my stick-to-itiveness. I am great with ideas....lousy with follow through. It's high time I got down to the business of growing up and getting serious about what I am doing with my life. And there-in lies the problem. That word "serious". I don't want to be serious. I want to be joyful and fun. I want everyday to be an adventure. I want to take off and do (be) something wonderful. I want to be a writer. But I never write. I actually wonder if I have any talent at all for it. I have loads of ideas floating in my head, but not a lot of motivation to actually write them down. So, I am going to attempt to change this. In order to be a writer I must write every day. EVERY DAY!!! Even if what I write is a bunch of junk, I need to hone this skill.
What I've been mulling over for the past few months is my age. 47. Wow - 47. How did that ever happen? I'm old and young at the same time. I have a 21 year old and a 2 year old. I'm old and young at the same time. What I fear is that the old part is taking over the young part. I'm not as active anymore - my joints are starting to creak. It takes forever just to lose 2 pounds. There are definite crows feet around my eyes and my neck, yes my neck, is getting that tell-tale old lady look. I understand why the great actresses of days gone by wore so many turtlenecks! I can't jump anymore - that probably has to do more with having 5 babies than with age, but still. If I actually worked out every day it may not be so much of a problem. In my mind I am not old. I still see myself as 30 or maybe 34, but not nearly 50! Yikes, 50! That sounds even worse. If I live a normal life span then my life is already more than half over. I wonder if I there is something great still waiting to happen. I suppose it won't just happen though. I need to get out and create this "something great". Of course, what I may be feeling is just the "grass is always greener" syndrome. Other people seem to have larger than life lives. But, in actuality, most of my friends don't. Several are in the midst of marital woes. Some have serious money issues. Most are just living day to day. Some are very happy, some are not.
I think I get too many ideas from the books I read. The adventures of the characters, the locale, the romance, the mystery, the accomplishments. The funny thing, the characters in books (or in movies) are not sitting around reading books or watching movies. They are out doing things. That may be the first step I need to take - do something.
And that's what I am doing starting today. I am going to write. Every day. Even if it's junk. Then I am going to send in my work and someday get published. I am not a novelist, but I am pretty sure I can write articles. I want to make people smile, maybe even laugh out loud. Take from my life and find the adventure that is already there. And not let anyone dampen my spirit. I am old and young at the same time. I can use this to my advantage. :)
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