The musings of a Pseudo-intellectual

I was recently called a pseudo-intellectual.  A fake intellectual.  Someone of average intelligence who tries to keep up the facade of being intellectual.  Ouch.  Not a nice thing to say to someone.  And this was said to me because I love to read fiction.  Lightweight mystery novels that end well and leave me wanting more.  Books such as The Cat Who series, Hannah Swenson Mysteries, and Stephanie Plum novels just to name a few.  I suppose an intellectual would only read books about finance, money, politics, or religion?  No fun characters, no plots, no new exotic (and some not so exotic) locations, no new friends to be made through the joy of reading about people and places that really do not exist.  I guess the "intellectual" doesn't realize that all the above mentioned topics ARE covered in fiction!

Well, the comment stung for about 3.5 seconds.  I really don't care if I am thought of as "average" by someone who is really just insecure about their own intelligence and abilities.  Do people really believe they are better or smarter than someone simply because they don't, or can't read fiction?  I get so much joy from reading all kinds of books.  Fiction, nonfiction, poetry, religious, and even the occasional short article found in a favorite magazine.  Reading fiction takes me to places I've never been, introduces me to people I've never met but would love to, and opens my mind to worlds vastly different than my own.  I am on a constant adventure when I read.  And I do love adventures!

So, I've decided - I'm a pseudo-intellectual and PROUD of it!!!

Feels like a Saturday today.  It's not - just Wednesday.  DH took today off since he is not feeling well at all and the kids had a half day at school.  I blazed through work and finished what I needed to by 10:45am.  Then I thought to myself, "Yahoo, I have time for me now"!! The next thought was "What do I do?"  Laundry and cleaning house just do not sound appealing at all.  They do need to get done so I folded 2 loads of laundry and Good-Enough cleaned the downstairs bath.  Why does it seem like I have so many ideas and energy when I am overloaded with work?  I am much more productive when I'm too busy for my own good.  Ahh, now in addition to working in scheduling every day so I have time for every day it seems I need to learn to actually be productive  in my down time from work.

I think I just get thrown off the groove when the schedule is off - especially when DH is home.  I don't think I could ever work from home if he worked from home also - yea, it would be best if we didn't do that.  My favorite french writer did finally send out an update email yesterday!  I love to read Mirielle Guiliano - she of the French Women Don't Get Fat books.  What a delightful breath of fresh air she is!  I think it's time to pull out one of those books in anticipation of all things Spring and get ready for a truly beautiful new year!

Stressed. Again

It's only January 5 and I'm stressing for the year already.  My workload is just about laughable.  I have a boss that thinks I can work 15 hours a day - at least one would think so with the amount of work she has laid on my doorstep.  I know one of my resolutions is to try and schedule enough time in the day to do it all.  Well, let me tell you - I'm not very good at it yet.  Or maybe I'm just not good at not thinking about work all the time.  I can't figure out why I get so worried.  What is the worst case scenerio that could happen?  She could fire me.  But she needs me more than I need her at the moment so that is not likely to happen.  Ok - I miss a deadline or two in getting the work done - then she gets mad and chews me out.  But I've never missed a deadline because I always work, work, work to make sure I don't.   So, I do what I do every year - I just keep working and eventually it passes.  I just really wish I could find some other work that paid well, but that I really enjoyed doing.  Oh, and I need to stay at home to do it as I have all these kiddos to take care of too.

On a positive note - I did actually schedule 3 meals this week - scheduling is not really my strong suit, at least not in the meal department.  I am using my planner daily - at this point it's mostly to write down what I've already done but I'm confident that over time I may actually write something down that is to happen in the future!

Wishes or Resolutions?

Another new year....Again.  Every year this time comes and every year I am slightly unprepared for it.  I say slightly because I actually do put some thought into what I want to accomplish, but that's about as far as it gets.  I think a lot.  I'm a good thinker.  I would make a million bucks if one were to be paid for thinking.  Now, how to channel that thinking into action.

Father Anthony, in mass on Sunday, talked about wishing versus resolving.  I suppose I have been a wisher more than a resolver.  I would like to change that.  I actually already have I guess - last August I finally gave in  and "resolved" to lose weight.  Religiously I record every thing I eat on Loseit.com - everyday.  I have taken up exercising with my gal pal Denise Austin 3-4 times a week and I'm  happy to say I am down 15 lbs.  Whoo hoo!!!  But,  while I am starting to gain control over this area of my life, I feel the rest of it is still running wildly out of control.

The good news is that I have accomplished something new this year different from years before - it's January 4th and I have already bought my 2012 planner refill.  I usually ruminate on what is the best planner to buy for at least a month and then settle for the usual Franklin Planner and then rarely use it.  But it always looks good in my Pacific blue binder!!  I finally gave in today and bought the Mead version today at Walmart.  It really does have most of the bells and whistles of the FCP but at 1/3 of the price!!!  I took the savings and bought some nice moisturizer for mature skin.  (haha)

I wrote last year that I really want to get better at writing.  One more "wish" that I didn't turn into a resolution. Maybe this year will be different.  I get so caught up in work that I forget to have the joyful, inspiring, fun, fulfilling life that is waiting for me.  So, this year I am going to make some actual resolutions:

1.  Use my planner daily - it really works so much better for me than using my iPhone.  I'm just old I guess and really like to see pencil written on paper.

2.  Build my day around a schedule - only so many hours for work, fit in time for exercise - geez, 30 minutes is not too much to ask for is it?,  time to make dinner and actually fit in time to spend with my kids instead of just being in the same house with them.

3.  Follow my FlyLady routines.  I just love all things FlyLady - what a great concept to just take small steps to get my house looking spectacular - at any given moment of the day.  I have started again with shining the kitchen sink and swish and swiping the bathroom in the morning.  It feels so good!

4.  And lastly,  really really really try to write every day.  I need someway out of this correlation gig I have been doing for 5 years now.  The stress of the deadlines is really wearing on me - I don't do it because I love it but because it helps pay the bills.  I am truly grateful for that, but I will be stuck in this rut forever until I fill in the hole with something else.

There are so many more I could list, but then, like every other year they would lie fallow.  So, a few steps at a time and I will get there.
 Oh, I forgot - make time to pray more each day - this should be more ingrained in me by now so I hate to list it as a resolution - it's more like a habit that just needs dusting off.

Time to get serious

I've been gone for over a year from this blog.  Bogged down in the everyday hecticness of life.  That and a bit of laziness.  I seem to have a lot of trouble with my stick-to-itiveness.  I am great with ideas....lousy with follow through.  It's high time I got down to the business of growing up and getting serious about what I am doing with my life.  And there-in lies the problem.  That word "serious".  I don't want to be serious.  I want to be joyful and fun.  I want everyday to be an adventure.  I want to take off and do (be) something wonderful.  I want to be a writer.  But I  never write.  I actually wonder if I have any talent at all for it.  I have loads of ideas floating in my head, but not a lot of motivation to actually write them down.  So,  I am going to attempt to change this.  In order to be a writer I must write every day.  EVERY DAY!!!  Even if what I write is a bunch of junk, I need to hone this skill. 

What I've been mulling over for the past few months is my age.  47.  Wow - 47.  How did that ever happen?  I'm old and young at the same time.  I have a 21 year old and a 2 year old.  I'm old and young at the same time.  What I fear is that the old part is taking over the young part.  I'm not as active anymore - my joints are starting to creak.  It takes forever just to lose 2 pounds.  There are definite crows feet around my eyes and my neck, yes my neck, is getting that tell-tale old lady look.  I understand why the great actresses of days gone by wore so many turtlenecks!  I can't jump anymore - that probably has to do more with having 5 babies than with age, but still.  If I actually worked out every day it may not be so much of a problem.  In my mind I am not old.  I still see myself as 30 or maybe 34, but not nearly 50!  Yikes, 50!  That sounds even worse.  If I live a normal life span then my life is already more than half over.  I wonder if I there is something great still waiting to happen.   I suppose it won't just happen though.  I need to get out and create this "something great".  Of course,  what I may be feeling is just the "grass is always greener" syndrome.  Other people seem to have larger than life lives.  But, in actuality, most of my friends don't.  Several are in the midst of marital woes.  Some have serious money issues.  Most are just living day to day.  Some are very happy, some are not. 

I think I get too many ideas from the books I read.  The adventures of the characters, the locale, the romance, the mystery, the accomplishments.  The funny thing, the characters in books (or in movies) are not sitting around reading books or watching movies.  They are out doing things.  That may be the first step I need to take - do something. 

And that's what I am doing starting today.  I am going to write.  Every day.  Even if it's junk.  Then I am going to send in my work and someday get published.  I am not a novelist, but I am pretty sure I can write articles.  I want to make people smile, maybe even laugh out loud.  Take from my life and find the adventure that is already there.  And not let anyone dampen my spirit.  I am old and young at the same time.  I can use this to my advantage.  :)

Summer's a-flying by

Wow - it's been 2 weeks since the last post - I've been remiss! Just life as usual with 25 children out for the summer. Not really, but it has been a constant flurry of motion around here. We have so hit the terrible 2's. (at 16 months). It is really cool how it doesn't bother me near as much as it did when I was younger. I guess there really is something to older and wiser. I know that saying wasn't meant for older parents, but I'll use it anyway! This weekend is my parent's 50th Wedding Anniversary. We are having a reception for them at the Church of Christ I used to go to about 200 years ago. Actually, about 20 years ago. I still get that cold, clammy feeling every time I think about entering the building. The people there couldn't be any nicer to me when I'm there (which has only been about 4 times in the last 20 years) but there are soooo many memories that I'd rather not relive. But, alas, this is not about me, but my parents and this is where they will be most comfortable. So, pray that all goes well - if you think that I feel wierd, you can only imagine what Steve feels like. He has never been in the C of C environment and thinks the whole thing is just plain different. And it is. What is so different about it is knowing that these people look at you knowing you are Catholic and totally think you are not Christian at all. There is such a separation there and it makes for some real uncomfortableness. (not sure that is a word). Pray for them too!

Less TV, More Chores!

Summer seems to be flying by. I'm finally done with work projects. (for now) and have a little breathing room. Although it seems like it takes me a week to recuperate..ie...do nothing.. after I finish to actually get up some gumption to tackle household projects. My week is almost over and now I need to get busy. I'm most productive in the morning and we have swim lessons this week (in the morning) so by the time we get home, well, my window of productivity has passed. I won't have an excuse next week though.
We have limited the boys to an hour of TV a day this summer. It absolutely killed them the first couple of days but it's amazing now how they can't wait to go outside and play. I found that they were getting TV brain. Meaning - they were checked out upstairs. I never got so many blank stares and never had so few chores done as the first month of this summer season. So, not so much TV should equate to more alert and oh-so-willing to help mom type of kids. Now, the next step is developing the chore chart. I seem to do this every summer, or at least I think about it every summer. This year they are asking for one. I guess they want some boundries too! Any hints on the chart are always appreciated!